I had what I am going to call my "profound thoughts". They may not actually be that profound, but I felt like they were extremely applicable to my life right now. And since you are SO interested, I am going to list them here.
- From here on out, I am going to treat every birthday as a celebration. For some reason, after 21 birthdays feel like something to dread instead of something to celebrate. It's like, "Oh no, I'm 25 and I don't have a super established job or a husband yet. I'm behind." But it doesn't have to be that way, and I am determined that I am going to celebrate each passing birthday as a way to honor the past and a method of hoping for good things in the future. I am proud of where I am today--content, even--and I want to feel the same way when I am 35, or 48, or beyond.
- Speaking of measuring the passing time, I am tired of the seasons of my life being defined by the guy I like at the time. There is more to my life than that, obviously, but when I think back on my past, the emotions associated with guys are what float to the top. I don't really know how to change this about myself, but maybe it is time to start. Boys are great, but I think my life should be about more than that. At least for now.
- Which brings me to my final point. The day before my birthday I decided I wanted to use the cruise to help me figure out the focus for my next year. As I was sitting on the deck one, day it came to me, as clear and certain as if someone actually said it. This year, my theme will be living in the moment. Not only does this mean that I will actively focus on worrying less, I will also build up contentment in my life. No more wishing for the future while ignoring the present. I know that I am the weirdo, type-A planner by nature, so a little more spontaneity in my life is needed for me to realize that I am NOT in control. And you know what? The world will go on turning when I don't have my fingers tightly grasping it.